


We'll Always Have Glenarian 43

by Philosophercat



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Philosophercat/pseuds/Philosophercat
Summary: Reunited with an old friend, the Doctor tries his best to make a good impression.





	We'll Always Have Glenarian 43

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Summer Sixathon 2009. The prompt was: 'The misadventures of the Sixth Doctor and Tegan Jovanka in the aftermath of "A Fix With Sontarans.

The Doctor was breathing heavily over his meal, fussing, starting then changing his mind about whether t'was best to eat a little of each item on the plate in a constant rotation or to tuck into a side and persist until he had finished the business. Tegan watched him sporadically snatch his glass of wine, pause, huff and set it down again. The chink of glass was punctuated by Tegan's cutlery clanging down on her porcelain plate.

"Hell's teeth!"

"So sorry, Tegan," said the Doctor rising. "Won't be a moment!" The glow of his benign grin had no effect on the Earth woman who patiently followed his frantic shuffling through the restaurant with the ire of long-suffering.

"Two hearts, bladder like a lentil," she muttered as she folded her cloth table napkin and took in the remains of their meal- far more remaining on the Doctor's plate than her own. She paused, hesitated then turned to look at the diners at the table behind her. Almost imperceptibly, she caught them staring at her. She straightened her back and picked at her dessert. It looked like chocolate cake. It tasted like chocolate cake, so she figured it was safe to assume that it was whatever passed for chocolate cake on Glenarian 43.

A very Sol-like sun was striking the window beside her with the force of a late afternoon flare, making everything glow. She looked out but could see only the glass thrown into detail by the slanted light.

The Doctor was gone long enough for Tegan to finish her dessert alone. He came bounding back into his chair, tugging it up until the table began to press into his belly. He waved his hands over his plate expectantly. "Now, where were we?"

"Doctor, I love you, but if you do that again, you will be picking yourself off the floor and you'll be ginger and have a thing for croquet."

The Doctor sniffed in reply and matched her sneer for sneer across the table. Tegan let out an explosive 'ha!' The Doctor grinned and replaced his napkin nicely upon his lap.

"Oh dear," he sighed with disappointment over his cold meal. Tegan leaned back in her chair and considered her companion for a moment. She broke in suddenly, just as he was poised to skewer what looked like a bit of asparagus.

"Doctor, do you think, next time we go out, you could wear something a little less..."

"A little less what?" he snapped.

"Well, odd? Odd is a good word for it- or distracting."

"Eye-catching, you mean," provided the Doctor helpfully. He continued the delicate operation of arranging the food on his plate. "Whatever brought that to your mind?"

"The people here keep staring at us," she said. "It might help to be less conspicuous."

"Oh," sighed the Doctor. "Oh, I see. Well, it doesn't bother me. Besides, it isn't me they're staring at." He fixed his eyes on hers and raised his brows. "It's you."

"What?" squawked Tegan.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Tegan, you look like something crawled up on top of your head and died there. I didn't want a say anything," he sawed the asparagus-thing with his knife. "It might have been considered rude, but you brought it up." Calmly and deliberately did Tegan suggest that the Doctor be sure to pick out a new croquet mallet before they get back to the TARDIS.

"Tegan," he sighed, unwisely ignoring the laser tracking sights that were zeroing in on him from under Tegan's lashes. "It is the sign of a healthy ego that one accepts graciously and with equanimity the well-intentioned and true criticisms of others." Tegan looked away and drummed her fingers on the table. Alright, yes; her new haircut was a disaster. She knew this. It did look like a road-kill hat. In fact, she was uncomfortably aware that the blond frosting and waterfall bangs made her look like she was wearing the scalp of the Doctor's previous incarnation as a quirky fashion accessory over her deep auburn hair.

The Doctor was fidgeting again. He groaned suddenly. "Ooooh, uh... I don't think the food here agrees with me."

"Alright, that's enough," said Tegan rising from the table. "If you're going to the Little Time Lord's room, I'm going with you."

The Doctor shot out of his chair in alarm and hastily began his retreat, firing volleys as he went to cover his escape. "Ludicrous! Really, Tegan, I don't know where you get these ideas! Won't be a moment!" and he was gone again.

Finding herself alone once again, Tegan snatched up her coat and bundled it in front of her. She was wondering - and not for the first time - if deciding to stay with the Doctor was such a good idea. A small but vocal part of her said that he had overcome her objections when she had first regretted joining up with the mouthy git. She shifted uncomfortably as she waited. It didn't sit right at all that she would stay just because he had asked her to give him another chance. Actually, she didn't remember how he had put it. She was giving him another chance, anyway. It wasn't so much what he said, as what she heard him say.

She hissed in frustration, venting her irritation to the window. "What on Earth is he..." Tegan's eyes widened. She hurled her coat on as she galloped out of the restaurant. Moments later Tegan appeared outside the window with the Doctor.

And four piles of pomegranate jelly about six feet high.

"Weak bladder, huh?"

"I was..." The Doctor paused sheepishly. "A little dishonest with you, Tegan."

"A little is not what I'd call it." The jellies burbled, almost growled as they slowly sauntered across the lawn.

"I'm sorry, Tegan."

"No, I'm the one the penny didn't drop for. You would put away three pots of tea and never did I see you take a potty break." The Doctor sighed wearily and wilted.

"I didn't want you to leave again," he said.

"Thought I'd slip away while you were in the loo?"

"Tegan!" He shook his head vigorously, sawing the air with his hands, emphasising his words. "You know what I mean! I wanted it to be fun, and I promised you that there would be no strangeness, no monsters, no peril. And this is hardly the time to sort things out between us."

Tegan crossed her arms as the jellies marched across the lawn behind her. "In short: you'll explain later."

"Yes," he hissed.

"Great! Just like the old days! So, what's the plan?"

The Doctor thoughtfully rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh...Hurm...uhm...augh... a plan?"

"You... don't have a plan."

"I could try communicating with them..." Tegan frowned uncertainly at the mounds of wriggling jelly. "They can talk?" she nodded.

"Oh, no," said the Doctor. "But they may be telepathic. I'm not sure," he said thoughtfully.

"Maybe they use interpretive dance," suggested Tegan. "You could pull off a jelly dance-"

The Doctor stared back down at her. "Was that supposed to be funny?" Tegan stuck out her chin and closed her eyes defiantly.

"I was trying to support the effort with brainstorming." The Doctor had taken off his coat; he handed it to Tegan and began to roll up his sleeves. "You're not going to wrestle with them?"

"I shall attempt to make telepathic contact," he replied, strutting towards the nearest quivering mound.

"Doctor, I don't think it's a good idea to put your fingers into stuff when you don't know what it is or what it could do to you!" The Doctor paused for an instant before carefully pressing his finger tips onto the jelly, first one hand and then another. It squelched and popped as his hands sank in. The Doctor winced.

"Hello?" he said as his hands waded in. "I'm the Doctor. And you are?" The jelly emitted a deep rumble.

"Doctor!" cried Tegan as she threw her arms around his waist and pulled him free just as the creature seemed to boil over like a pot of jam, spilling a watery, foamy goop onto the ground. The Doctor and Tegan carefully avoided the seemingly inert puddle. As they looked on, the mound collapsed, followed by the other three- boiling over, spilling and evaporating at last into a pink vapor.

The Doctor was still wincing, pink goo thickly coating his hands and dripping from his fingers. Tegan was the first to speak. "I guess they didn't want to talk about it."

"Hmn, no, I suppose not!" the Doctor raised his brows.

Tegan gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Come on, Doc, let's get you cleaned up."

The Doctor frowned suddenly. "Tegan, where's my coat?"

"Oh," she looked behind her where she had tossed his multicoloured frock. "I tossed it down over there," as she went to retrieve it, the Doctor fussed. "Look, Doc, a grass stain on this thing is the least of your worries!" She came back laughing to him.

The Doctor smiled back at her warmly. "That's right; I have you around." His tone was dry but his eyes shone with bonhomie.

"You know, if you don't like it, that's just too bad- you knew what you were getting into," reminded Tegan.

"Yes, yes, I did."


End file.
